Two weeks at home now

Tony continues to be extremely fatigued.  He has no willpower.  No appetite.  No motivation.  All he wants to do is sleep.  Walking to the bathroom and back is equivalent to running a marathon.  Well, according to him.  I try to push, but I just cannot.  I feel so bad.  It's in his voice, mannerisms and face.  He says eating a meal is like bugging someone to eat a full course meal, after they had a full course meal 10 minutes ago.  His body needs time to heal.  We have been fortunate so far (knock on wood) to all be healthy in our home.  I'm listening to all the "nonna" advice.  Don't forget to wear your hat, gloves and scarf.  And I do, each and every time I walk out that door.  Very Very Very Cold WINTER.

Today was a follow up appointment.  His regular oncologist was having a very busy day and one of her colleagues came in to see us.  I always wonder about these colleagues....students, experience, thoroughness, sensitivity, etc.  Anyway, it was ok.  We really didn't have any serious issues.  However, he did persist on the fluid intake part.  AN ONGOING ISSUE WITH HIM!  All the blood work came back great except for magnesium.  (they can give through the IV along with hydration)  But, when they take his blood pressure, they take it sitting and then standing.  It dropped about 20 points between the two reads.  A sign of dehydration.  Also, his pulse was about 110.  (just found out today normal is 70-80)  Oh man!  Another sign of dehydration.  He had home care coming every day to hydrate one litre and plus he drank over a litre during the day.  We were told to record the amount of fluid intake so that we can monitor it better. So, another long day at Princess Margaret.  He slept the entire time with me by his side, reading a book.  (Mitch Albom's: The First Phone Call from Heaven)  Appropriate for me at this time in my life.  I miss my mom.  So far, a good read.

We found out today that they are closing the "blue pod".  The blue pod is where patients with picclines and hickman lines go to give blood for testing during clinic.  It's open till 10am.  Afterwards you have to go to Ambulatory.  I was sad with that news.  Not the closing part, but because Chemo Daycare needs more space.  Chemo Daycare, where outpatients go for chemo treatment 6 days a week.  They need more space. Breaks my heart to hear that.  I keep hearing more and more stories of people I know, who know people with cancer, and so on.  I know that as you get older, your circle of friends grow and people are getting older etc, but this is getting sad.  Today was hectic in the lobby. People coming and going.   Too much cancer out there.  And this is just one hospital.

I'd like to quote my dad.  "Con la morte, non ce rimedio .  Abbasta che hai la salute, hai tutto."

(There is no remedy for death.  As long as you have health, you have everything.)